Give proper recognition to those widows who are really in need. But if a widow has children or grandchildren, these should learn first of all to put their religion into practice by caring for their own family and so repaying their parents and grandparents, for this is pleasing to God. The widow who is really in need and left all alone puts her hope in God and continues night and day to pray and to ask God for help. But the widow who lives for pleasure is dead even while she lives. Give the people these instructions, so that no one may be open to blame. Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. No widow may be put on the list of widows unless she is over sixty, has been faithful to her husband, and is well known for her good deeds, such as bringing up children, showing hospitality, washing the feet of the Lord’s people, helping those in trouble and devoting herself to all kinds of good deeds. As for younger widows, do not put them on such a list. For when their sensual desires overcome their dedication to Christ, they want to marry. Thus, they bring judgment on themselves, because they have broken their first pledge. Besides, they get into the habit of being idle and going about from house to house. And not only do they become idlers, but also busybodies who talk nonsense, saying things they ought not to. So, I counsel younger widows to marry, to have children, to manage their homes and to give the enemy no opportunity for slander. Some have in fact already turned away to follow Satan. 1Timothy 5:1-13
Having spent a few years on the Board of a Rescue Ministry, I can relate a little better to a passage like this. I remember complaining about all the rules we had for helping people like -
no walk ins, you have to call and make an appointment
we can only help people once a year and with x amount of dollars
we give vouchers instead of money
a data bank was compiled between churches at Christmas to prevent going from place to place
don't give money to a beggar because they will probably spend it on alcohol or cigarettes
These are just a few of the rules and they would drive me crazy because I just wanted to help everyone in need. In the long run, though, helping without limitations compounds the problem. For example, requiring an appointment taught certain life skills like waking up early to make a phone call at 9AM when the phone lines opened to grab a limited spot to punctually meet with the director who wouldn't see you if you were late. All these skills are required in life to get and maintain employment. Just helping them once a year for let's say paying rent taught them that paying living expenses is a priority and the necessity of budgeting, so they don't get evicted.
In this passage we see that Paul, like the rescue ministry, had rules specifically in the area of helping widows. Remember in Acts 6, helping widows became a huge issue in the early church necessitating the formation of the office of deacon so the elders could focus on prayer and teaching instead of using all their time for mercy ministries. When handouts and help is available, unfortunately the potential and certainty of abuse of the system comes into play. Just like people going to multiple sources for Christmas presents, then returning them to Wal-Mart and using the money on scratch offs, it appeared some widows would use the assistance to indulge themselves. Instead of using it for basic needs it was used for drunkenness, etc. and Paul is saying, "Take those people off the list." (The origin of the naughty list)
Another stipulation was that if widows had family members in the church, the family needed to help them. Paul wasn't concerned with widows only; he was concerned with the family's sanctification as the management of money is central to Christian growth. If "Christians" weren't helping the poor in their family but using all of "their" money on themselves, they needed church discipline at worst and friendly admonishing at least.
Since resources were limited, like the Rescue ministry, priority needed to be given to those widows who had served the body faithfully. I don't think Paul is saying, "If you have lived a bad life, you don't get help", because that would go against Jesus' example that He came to help those who were undeserving, but rather to prioritize the limited funds and then the leftovers go to the rest.
Lastly, Paul talks about younger widows not being put on the list. Why? Because they had other options for support like getting married or getting work and giving them handouts enabled laziness. The Rescue Ministry's motto was to teach people to "fish" not just give them "fish". The goal is self-sufficiency not idleness and dependency.
People that have the gift of mercy aren't going to do well with passages like this while people with the gift of administration are going to like this passage too much. Both gifts are necessary in the body but it helps to know when Christ says in Luke 6, "Give to all who ask", it is OK to put a few qualifiers on that yet always err on the side of mercy because that is God's default mode and it should be ours, too.
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