My Top 10 Christian Albums 2015

                      My Top 10 Christian Albums 2015

     Every year I do this, I have to start with a few qualifying remarks. First, everyone's taste in music is different - that's why this is MY list. Second, I try not to include EPs although sometimes they are so much better than full albums out there that I have to. Lastly, if an album is done by Christian artists but you can't tell they are Christians by listening to it I don't usually include it or drop it down a lot. So let's go!

    Honorable mention; Andrew Ripp, Tyrone Wells, Rend Collective, Fireflight, Brandon Heath, Tree63, North point, Passion

   #10
  
     I guess I would consider them a K-Love band but they had some catchy songs that surpassed the Mercy Me's, Casting Crowns, 10th Ave. Norths, Big Daddy Weaves this year

   #9


      Some good songs here in the R&B hip hop genre. Nice 1st effort

   #8
 

      1/2 of Group 1 Crew showed she is ready to go on her own.

  #7


  A few highs and many lows but the highs were very high!
   

  #6


  One of those albums I was talking about that is amazing but just not Christian enough to go higher on my list. Very innovative. Like nothing else out there

  #5


      Enjoyable album in the same genre of Toby Mac, Capital Kings , Jonathan Singh, Jeremy Rosado


 #4


  Comeback artist of the year. (Last album was bad) Best worship album of the year topping Passion, Chris Tomlin, Crowder, Matt Redmon, Gateway, Hillsongs, etc

 #3

  Best album of the year by far if it would just be bolder for Christ lyrically

#2


  Every year my #2 comes out of nowhere. This year is no exception. A digital only album from a 13th place American Idol guy blew me away. I could listen to this over and over!

#1


     Yay Toby, you never disappoint. This is the real thing


  

Five Minute Devotionals to Give - Candles

               Five Minute Devotionals to Give - Candles

       Hold this up and ask people "what is this used for?" The men will no doubt focus on giving off light. The women will focus on fragrance or romance. I commented that I would have never known that candles were for anything other than giving off light - in fact in science, light strength is measured in terms of candle power. However, we are going to say the women are right today and this candle, since it is scented, is for giving off a nice aroma. When you cooked, garlic, or onions, or fish these are helpful. However, the best treatment is a fan, vacuum, or opening the windows and removing the smell. The candle just masks it and quite often you will end up with strawberry smelling fish odor. At our house at the edge of the woods, we have mice problems. Several times a year we will have mice die in our ventilation system and our house stinks for a month. We light candles which mask the smell but when we blow them out, the smell is still there. If we could just find the dead mouse and remove it, the smell would be gone but, alas, in the vents it is inaccessible.
     The Bible says that we have a sin problem - "All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God" Rom.3:23. We could probably say that sin makes us stink so bad that God can't be in our presence. Since we are created FOR God's presence, this presents a real problem. What we try to do is light a spiritual candle and try to trick God into thinking that we smell good. We do this by going to church, giving money, saying prayers, being kind, etc. but all this does is add odor to our stench! The Bible says that all our good deeds are like filthy rags or fuel for the fire. We are incapable of taking sin away. We are like men who have lost their way while driving who step on the gas and drive faster but in the end are getting further from their destination. Who can free us from this sin?
     Jesus can! "He who knew no sin became sin for us" 2 Cor. 5:21 "He bore our sins on His body on the tree" 1Pet. 2:24. He removed our sins as far as the East is from the West. Jesus takes away our sins if by faith we admit we are sinful and can't remove them ourselves and humble ourselves before God and say" please remove my sins through your Son's death on my behalf". Then you know what happens... He puts the candle inside us after removing the stink so no longer do we carry around the odor of sin but rather the aroma and light of Christ in our lives! And speaking of romance - we become the bride of Christ!
     So next time you light a candle, remember the light of the world, the forgiver of sins, the abundant life giver, and our Bridegroom, Jesus Christ!

Milwaukee Brewers Top Prospects 2016

                                 Milwaukee Brewers Top Prospects 2016

  Here are my list of top prospects for the Milwaukee Brewers based on 2015 stats. I haven't seen most of them play, so these are based simply on the line stats on MiLB.com. I apologize to all those statistic geeks who know so much more than me. I'm old school and still think RBIs are good and K's are bad. Haha .I will list my best per position.

 

 Pitchers based on 13 man staff

 

SP/LR

 

   RH Rodrigo Benoit - 21 y/o  in DSL 6-1, 2.10 ERA, .92 WHIP Great numbers! My only fear is he came out of nowhere after 2 bad years. Late puberty? 0 HR in 73 innings!

 

   RH Carlos Luna - 18 y/o in DSL 4-2  1.46 ERA, 1.01 WHIP

 

   RH Jorge Ortega - 22y/o in Brevard to AAA, A winning record from anyone not in Biloxi is impressive. 2.38 ERA, 1.06 WHIP

 

   RH Carlos Herrera - 18y/o DSL 4-2 3.26 ERA 80 IP  68H  13BB 73K  1.01WHIP .228Avg.

 

    RH Jorge Lopez - 22y/o at AA  12-5 2.26 ERA, 143 IP 137K, .205 Avg, 1.10 WHIP. Southern league pitcher of the year and certainly Brewer's minor league pitcher of the year. What's not to like except that this is the first year he has performed anywhere near this well. Lets hope he can keep it up!

 

     LH  Josh Hader - 22y/o at AA 2.94 ERA 33IP,44K, .195 Avg., .95 WHIP  We may regret getting rid of Melvin after this trade!

 

    RH Hiram Burgos - 28 y/o at AAA mile high Colorado Springs ERA 3.34, .222Avg., 1.17 WHIP. Former top prospect had surgery and fell off our radar. Give him another chance!

    RH Daniel Missaki 19 y/o A  34IP 31H  5BB 34K 1.04 WHIP Injury ended season

     RH  Bubba Derby  21 y/o A  34 IP  19H   45K  avg.161  WHIP .84

 

    others to watch  Wang, Ventura, Houser, Peralta

 

RP

 

   LH Brad Kuntz - 21 y/o in ROK and Helena  2-0 .88 ERA Avg. .184, WHIP .93 , 0 HR in 41 innings.

 

  LH Shawn Clowers 22 y/o in ROK  2.00 ERA,  .172 Avg, .78 WHIP
 

 RH Cody Ponce 21y/o  Low A 2.29ERA 2-1 .244Avg 1.10WHIP

 

  RH Damien Magnifico 24 y/o closer at AA with 19 saves. Approaches triple digits. 1.20 ERA, .208 Avg.

 

  others to watch  Farina, Olczak, Terry, Chapman

 C - Carlos Leal 24y/o LH hitter .309/.367/.397 at Low A. Consistantly over .300 all year on a team that struggled to hit. Apparently injured the latter half of the season

      Dustin Houle 21y/o RH hitter at High A  .308/.360/.451

     Jacob Nottingham 20 y/o RH at A  .316/.372/.505  17 HR

  3B  no prospects. Going to have to move Segura or Arcia

  2B George Iskanderian  21y/o RH at Helena .328/.367/.403

        Blake Allemand 23 y/o at Low A .293/.341/.361

        Nathan Orf  25y/o RH at AA .274/.378/.368  His .378 OBP is consistant  every year. Walks a lot which is what the Brewers desperately need.

   SS Orlando Arcia  21y/o RH .308/.349/.457 at AA

         Isan Diaz  19 y/o LH  .360/.436/.640/1.076 at ROK


    1B Garrett Cooper 24 y/o RH at AA  .311/.375/.454 at 6'6" probably play here rather than 3B

    OF Trent Clark 18 y/o LH .313/.426/.438 Going to be our best 1st round pick since Braun

         Joantgel Segovia 18 y/o RH up to ROK from DSL continued to get on base. .331/.392/.347. Suffered a season ending injury

        Brett Phillips 21y/o LH  at AA .309/.374/.527 Bring back Doug Melvin!

 players to watch Taylor, Roche, Harrison, Oriomyole

I am more encouraged with our farm system than before. We are better than last year with the off-season trades but still will have a losing record throughout MILB. My two favorites this year - Kuntz and Clark.
 

5 Love Languages - Physical Touch - Lesson 5

         5 Love Languages - Physical Touch - Lesson 5

     
  As we discuss the last love language, physical touch, (sorry I am not going to do acts of service as I was on a mission trip to Brazil that week) let me do a quick summary.

      

 

If we don't speak the love language of our spouse we are like these poor ESL students who are totally clueless to the message given because they don't speak the language. Those languages are Words of affirmation (encouraging them by focusing on their positive attributes in words, letters, texts, etc.), quality time (spending and giving complete attention often where they feel heard) , gift giving (tangible expressions that you thought about them during the day) , acts of service (doing things for them that are important to them), and lastly physical touch.

 

Jesus was the master of all of these and if we follow His example given in the Bible, with the Holy Spirit's help who is inside of all believers, we can speak these love languages fluently. We see his affirmation of Peter as he renamed him "The Rock" and His affirmation of Gideon as He called him "mighty warrior" in the midst of his fear and insecurity. We see in the book of Mark that the disciples were specifically chosen to spend time or be with Jesus. John 3:16 tells us Jesus gave His life for us, the gift that keeps on giving. We see Him showing the full extent of His love in John 13 by serving the disciples as He did not come to be served but to serve. Lastly, we see that the infinite God who is spirit, put on a body so that He could be touched and touch others. That is what the incarnation is. Jesus touched the leper who was unclean in physical and societal terms and healed him even though He could have done it without a touch. The deaf mute was healed by putting His fingers in his ears and touching his tongue even though He could have healed him without touching. The blind man was touched on the eyes and made to see even though God spoke eyes into existence without touching. The lame were made to walk and fevers were cast out with touch. This is extremely significant also when you consider that the Old Testament was all about not touching things. Even in the famous parable of the good Samaritan we see the priest and the Levite not helping the injured man possibly because of the warnings against touching and the mandatory decontamination protocols. This is why Paul says in Colossians 2

"Since you died with Christ to the elemental spiritual forces of this world, why, as though you still belonged to the world, do you submit to its rules: ²¹ “Do not handle! Do not taste! Do not touch!”? ²² These rules, which have to do with things that are all destined to perish with use, are based on merely human commands and teachings. ²³ Such regulations indeed have an appearance of wisdom, with their self-imposed worship, their false humility and their harsh treatment of the body, but they lack any value in restraining sensual indulgence." Jesus fulfilled the law and He took our uncleanness on Him so we can be touched!

 

 Why is touch so important?

 

Lets get scientific for a bit. God made us with proprioceptors in our skin which sense touch. Even from birth, babies need touch. Studies show that preterm babies in the NICU that are frequently touched and held gain weight faster (even with the same number of calories) and have better developmental performance than babies who aren't touched. When you stimulate pressure receptors in the skin you lower stress hormones and release oxytocin (cuddle hormone) which enhances a sense of trust and attachment. Studies show that people who have 10 or more meaningful touches a day live longer. There is a whole branch of medicine dealing with massaging and treating pressure points. If someone is under stress you can often see them self-touching to relieve stress. Certain mannerisms seen in this situation are flipping of the hair, massaging the forehead, rubbing hands together, and stroking the neck. Couples that touch more show that they are satisfied with each other, but the true indicator of a healthy long term relationship is not how often you touch but how often your spouse touches you back in response to your touch. Couples get so familiar with each other's touches that studies show that 70% of the time they can distinguish between the following emotions conveyed only by touch - anger, fear, disgust, gratitude, sympathy, happiness, and sadness

 

Gary Chapman gives a good account of a couple named Maria and Joe who worked through the problems associated with not understanding this love language in the section headed "Marriage is not supposed to be this way".

 

Let me end by giving you a few assignments on touching.

1. Sit next to each other while watching TV

2. When you experience quality time, i.e. dates, shopping, movies - hold hands

3. Kiss spouse goodbye in the morning or give them a hug when they come in the door

4. Give them a massage

5. If your spouse is occupied with a project, go into the room and touch them, then leave

6. Pray together holding hands

7. Get a smaller bed - king size beds are terrible for touch!

5 Love Languages - Receiving Gifts - Lesson 4

                  5 Love Languages - Receiving Gifts
                 

 Let's take a look at the giving and receiving of gifts and hopefully it will be a fresh take on the subject which is so much more than bringing flowers home (although it does include that)

        A little history of giving from the book "Gratitude, An Intellectual History" by Peter Leithart as commented on by John Ortberg states that Jesus had the greatest impact on giving in the history of the world. In the ancient world, gifts were not free. Gifts placed the receiver under obligation to reciprocate so it was always better to give a bigger gift so the other person would be under obligation.

 We see this in a few accounts in the Old Testament

²¹ The king of Sodom said to Abram, “Give me the people and keep the goods for yourself.”
²² But Abram said to the king of Sodom, “With raised hand I have sworn an oath to the Lord, God Most High, Creator of heaven and earth, ²³ that I will accept nothing belonging to you, not even a thread or the strap of a sandal, so that you will never be able to say, ‘I made Abram rich.’ Gen.14:21-23

Ephron the Hittite was sitting among his people and he replied to Abraham in the hearing of all the Hittites who had come to the gate of his city. ¹¹ “No, my lord,” he said. “Listen to me; I give you the field, and I give you the cave that is in it. I give it to you in the presence of my people. Bury your dead.”
¹² Again Abraham bowed down before the people of the land ¹³ and he said to Ephron in their hearing, “Listen to me, if you will. I will pay the price of the field. Accept it from me so I can bury my dead there.” Gen 23:10-13

King Solomon gave the queen of Sheba all she desired and asked for; he gave her more than she had brought to him. Then she left and returned with her retinue to her own country. 2 Chron. 9:12  

In the New Testament, Jesus comes into the Roman empire which was run by the same principles. People that were rich would give gifts so that people would owe a debt of gratitude to their patrons or benefactors which would earn the giver more honor and power. Giving became a strategy to enrich yourself to get even more. Even their religion or worship of gods would be giving gifts so they would earn favor or reciprocity. This whole system was the antithesis of God's system which was God giving freely (John 3:16) and God is so much bigger than this system. Paul says in Rom. 11:35, "Who has ever given to God that God should repay him?" That's why we see the following verses and so many more;

  ...your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. ⁴⁶ If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? ⁴⁷ And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that?  “Be careful not to practice your righteousness in front of others to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven.
² “So when you give to the needy, do not announce it with trumpets, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets, to be honored by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. ³ But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, ⁴ so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. Matt 5:45-6:4

Why did he say announce it with trumpets? Because they literally did that back then. A benefactor or patron would have an indebted entourage announcing his presence to appear more important sort of like this clip from Knights Tale

 

 A dispute also arose among them as to which of them was considered to be greatest. ²⁵ Jesus said to them, “The kings of the Gentiles lord it over them; and those who exercise authority over them call themselves Benefactors. ²⁶ But you are not to be like that. Instead, the greatest among you should be like the youngest, and the one who rules like the one who serves.Then Jesus said to his host, “When you give a luncheon or dinner, do not invite your friends, your brothers or sisters, your relatives, or your rich neighbors; if you do, they may invite you back and so you will be repaid. ¹³ But when you give a banquet, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind, ¹⁴ and you will be blessed. Although they cannot repay you, you will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous.” Luke 22,14

 

James says that God is our patron and benefactor, not men therefore we should not give deference to the rich and as Paul would say in Romans 13:8, "owe no man anything" and as Jesus would say in Matt. 23:9 that we are to call no man our "father" or our patron except God.

 

^" Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. My brothers and sisters, believers in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ must not show favoritism. ² Suppose a man comes into your meeting wearing a gold ring and fine clothes, and a poor man in filthy old clothes also comes in. ³ If you show special attention to the man wearing fine clothes and say, “Here’s a good seat for you,” but say to the poor man, “You stand there” or “Sit on the floor by my feet,” ⁴ have you not discriminated among yourselves and become judges with evil thoughts? James 1,2

 

Needless to say, the Romans hated this new philosophy and saw the Christians as ingrates, ungrateful for the gifts they had been given to the extent that they wouldn't give the rich in power even fake worship.

 

With that history in mind, we come to this third love language of receiving gifts and we see that as Christians, this should be part of our agape love - giving without expecting in return. This is difficult especially if this is our love language because we tend to show our love in our language. A spouse with this love language would be giving gifts to their spouse and the reciprocation might be a word of affirmation which is that spouse's language which would be totally unsatisfying. We need to be very cognizant of the need of our spouses to be spoken to in their languages rather than ours.

 

Lets look first of all at what is going on behind the scenes of this seemingly materialistic love language. A gift is a symbol that your spouse has been thinking of you during the day because a gift takes time, effort, thinking about your spouse's likes and dislikes and you have honored them in that way. Maybe, especially you guys, you are amazed and frustrated that your wife wants you and expects you to know her schedule and sometimes even the kids' schedule when she doesn't know yours and you are having a hard enough time with your own schedule! What is that about?? It is this love language coming out. She wants to know that you are thinking about her during your day which if you do is an intangible, unwrapped gift.By the way, if you pray with your spouse in the A.M chances are that they will reveal to you their whole daily schedule in their prayer.

 Maybe, like me, you have brought her home a rose and her first question is "Where did you get that?" You expect her to give you praise and adulation for your thoughtfulness but she wants to know how much effort was put into it, if you happened to see it when you went to get gas, etc. In other words were you really thinking of her or was it accidental. If you were really thinking of her, are roses her favorite flower? Do you know all about her like this following clip from Madagascar 2

 

 

I hear from a lot of guys that they don't buy their wives clothes because they always get it wrong. So what. Save the receipts and take them back. Buying clothes shows them you know their size. Do you know your wife's shoe size? It shows you were thinking of them enough to go into a store where you were the only male. Then wrap it nicely too, don't just throw it into a gift bag because that shows they are worth the extra effort. Gift cards take no thought or effort - just saying.

 

Here are some ideas of how to express this love language.

1. Keep a list of things your spouse is excited about when they see a commercial or see it at someone else's house or store or newspaper ad

2. Drop a small gift, note, snack, coffee at work occasionally

3. Sneak a love note under the pillow, in the refrigerator, in their car, on their desk ...

4. Make or bring home their favorite meal

5. Create a collage of photos of memorable times or make an online photobook from Facebook pictures

6. Purchase a book they want and one for you too so that you can read it and discuss it with them

7. Buy them a magazine that you think they would want

8. Make a certain day of the week their special day.

9. Celebrate weird holidays - i.e. bring some cheesecake home on national cheesecake day. If they are left handed make a big deal of left handed day. Celebrate the day of your first date etc.

 

Lastly, Gary Chapman talks about the gift of your presence. How often have you thought, "There will be a ton of people there, they won't even miss me". If that person speaks this love language, they will feel unloved. If you think "what is a day, we can celebrate their birthday tomorrow.", if they speak this love language, a day does matter! Make the effort to give the gift of your presence. The time or inconvenience to you shows a receiving gifts love language person that you love them.

 

Assignment

1. Give a tangible gift to your spouse this week. Be creative

2. Call your spouse and ask them specifics about their day

3. Leave a love note somewhere in the house where they will find it

 

         

5 Love Languages - Quality Time - Lesson 3

                                              Quality Time

                  

      Chapman begins this chapter with a story about Mark and Andrea which is a bridge between the first two love languages of words of affirmation and quality time. While Chapman was still discovering the concept of love languages he gave this couple who were at odds an assignment to make a list of 5 things that were positive traits about the other person and affirm them daily adding to the list as more positives surfaced. A month later, Mark said the marriage was going great. Andrea, however said nothing had changed - he still spends all his time at work! Chapman realized that he had assumed they both thrived on words of affirmation which was Mark's love language but not Andrea's. She thrived on quality time and Mark agreed that was what she was always complaining about but in order to reach the heights that the family needed in his career, he needed to work those hours. Mark was given the following assignment - make a list of things Andrea has mentioned to you over the years that she would like to do. After Mark did that, Chapman told him to do one a week for the next two months because what good is getting to the top of the corporate ladder if no one is there with you.
     What does quality time look like?

               
   1. Listening, and more than that, hearing. As you see in the above video, it is making eye contact, turning off electronic devices or distractions and giving focused attention to our spouse. It means not interrupting to correct, instruct, give our opinion (the average interruption is 17 seconds) but allowing the person to tell information and emote on that information. Questions like "How did that make you feel?" are good leading questions. Most often our spouse isn't looking for criticism or correction or advice (they get enough of that during the day) but rather an understanding and listening ear.

"My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry." James 1:19
    
  2. Focused attention - a date night of watching television may seem like quality time (and for some couples may be) but when we are watching or listening to something, that has our attention rather than our spouse. Going to a restaurant with a TV over your spouses head is a deterrant to focused attention. Eating dinner with your spouse and being on your cell phone is not focused attention. Dates and quality time should be tech free.

   3. Quality activities - When you look at the Bible, who is the model of quality time? John Ortberg in his message "Love is spelled T-I-M-E" states that Jesus is the model. Mark 3:13,14 gives us some insight on why He chose disciples.

        "Jesus went up on a mountainside and called to him those he wanted, and they came to him. ¹⁴ He appointed twelve that they might be with him"

     When you look at some activities Jesus did while He was "with them" we get a list of some quality activities that we can try with our loved ones;

     A. Taking walks - Matt. 24:1 Go for a walk with your spouse after dinner every night and debrief
     B. Eating together - Matt.9:10  Go out to eat once a week without the kids
     C. Learning together - Mark 4:10  Go to a library, book store or watch a sermon together
     D. Running errands - Mark 5:23,24 Go to the grocery store together
     E. Resting - Mark 6:31 I was amazed when I told my class to go to bed at the same time and they looked at me like that was a foreign thought. Seriously?? Go to bed at the same time!!
    F. Riding in boats - Mark 4:36 Travel and vacation together. Recreate together
    G. Mountain Climbing - Mark 9:2 We live in the Smokies, that should be easy
    H. Praying - Luke 11:1  http://yourmove.is/episode/ep3-the-secret-sauce-2/  1 in 10,000 couples get divorced that pray together! Also, do you want to know why your spouse seems like s(he) is absent mentally. Usually the thing that is mentally draining them will be revealed in prayer.
    I. Going to church - Luke 4:16 Just one of a thousand reasons to go to church
    J. Going fishing - Luke 5:4 or play a sport or attend a sporting event with them. Women, if you show an interest in the latest PGA tournament, maybe your husband will watch HGTV with you. (sorry if that was sexist)

     Here is your assignment for this week
     1. Have a date night
     2. Plan a weekend without kids in the next 3 months
     3. Go to bed at the same time
     4. Spend 15 minutes each day having eye to eye conversation and don't talk about kids.

 

         

5 Love Languages - Words of Affirmation Lesson 2

     The first love language that we are going to talk about is Words of Affirmation.

           
   This is saying encouraging and affirming words intentionally to people to build them up, or in this context, to fill their love tank. Everyone needs these and as Christians we are to be encouragers to everyone, but certain people will feel unloved if they don't get a heavy dose of this while others will do fine as long as they receive love in other languages. Who needs these words more than any others? First of all, men probably more than women because men see themselves as heroes, warriors, leaders who have a need in their lives for significance. This is why wives are commanded in the Bible to honor their husbands. Watch two men affirming each other in the following funny but dated SNL video below
                     https://screen.yahoo.com/daily-affirmation-michael-jordan-000000862.html

   The other subset of people that need affirming specifically is people raised by negative parents and mentors who could never "do anything right" in their parent's eyes. If you recognize this form of parenting of your spouse be sensitive to their needs for positive feedback. If you are having problems thinking of words to say or not really understanding what we are talking about, here are some links to go to. It is funny if you read these to men they will nod and agree. If you read them to women they will in general groan as if they are getting cheesy pickup lines. (try it out if you don't believe me) Thus the gender difference in love languages.

  http://matthewljacobson.com/2013/12/02/103-words-of-affirmation-every-husbands-wants-to-hear/
https://husbandrevolution.com/102-words-affirmation-every-wife-wants-hear/
http://matthewljacobson.com/2013/11/18/450/

    Gary Chapman gives a good example on pages 38 - 40 of Dan and his wife. She wants a room painted and she keeps nagging him to do it and he keeps putting it off. Dr. Chapman suggests that she compliments him on everything else he is doing. She goes away upset but tries it and in no time the room is painted. The author isn't the first person to try that. Look at Gideon in Judges 6. The Israelites were being oppressed by the Midianites as God's punishment for their sins. The Israelites cry out to God and He sends them a deliverer by the name of Gideon who needed affirming. Look at the following passage.

¹¹ The angel of the Lord came and sat down under the oak in Ophrah that belonged to Joash the Abiezrite, where his son Gideon was threshing wheat in a winepress to keep it from the Midianites. ¹² When the angel of the Lord appeared to Gideon, he said, “The Lord is with you, mighty warrior.”
¹³ “Pardon me, my lord,” Gideon replied, “but if the Lord is with us, why has all this happened to us? Where are all his wonders that our ancestors told us about when they said, ‘Did not the Lord bring us up out of Egypt?’ But now the Lord has abandoned us and given us into the hand of Midian.”
¹⁴ The Lord turned to him and said, “Go in the strength you have and save Israel out of Midian’s hand. Am I not sending you?”
¹⁵ “Pardon me, my lord,” Gideon replied, “but how can I save Israel? My clan is the weakest in Manasseh, and I am the least in my family.”
¹⁶ The Lord answered, “I will be with you, and you will strike down all the Midianites, leaving none alive.”

  Picture the context. Here is Gideon throwing up the wheat into the air so the chaff will be blown away and the heavier kernel falling to the ground. Unfortunately he was doing it in a winepress so as not to be seen by the Midianites who would come steal the wheat. The problem with this is that there is no wind in a winepress. The Lord didn't say, "What are you doing - that will never work" or "Be a man you coward". He addressed him as a warrior who the Lord was with and a future victor. God affirmed him for what He saw in him rather than the external actions which were inconsistent with what God knew was inside him. These words of affirmation enabled him to deliver his people with a comparative hand full of warriors with God's help.
              Peter is another example. Peter, who always puts his foot in his mouth, forbids the Lord to go to the cross, and denies Christ to a teenage girl out of fear is renamed by Christ, "The Rock", and commissioned to be a future leader of the church.
           Jehu was in a group of officers and Elisha came in and took him into a room to speak with him. Elisha anointed him king and told him the great things he would accomplish. When Jehu came back in the other room, the officers asked him what that was all about. Jehu either out of embarrassment, fear, doubt, shock or for whatever reason said "oh, you know those old crazy eccentric guys, they say all kinds of stuff you can't believe." The officers insisted Jehu tell them and when he did they saddled up for the death spree shouting "Jehu is king!" Their affirmation of what they saw in him that he didn't even see in himself led him to be probably the greatest king of the northern kingdom.
            Lest we get the impression that women don't need affirmation, Gabriel referred to Mary as a favored one whom God is with. These words enabled her to go through a blessed but extremely difficult life that came with giving birth to the Son of God.

          As I said before, encouraging isn't just for marriage. We as believers should be known for our encouraging words and seeing the best in people who are all loved by God and made in the image of God. At work, at home, at church, at our hobbies, the cashier, the waiters and waitresses, the bank tellers, everyone we come in contact with need words of affirmation and if we are an affirming person they will see a difference in us because the rest of the world is too worried about themselves to be thinking about building up strangers.

¹³ But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called “Today,” so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness. Heb. 3:13

    If we look at the above verse as it pertains to marriage we get a few Biblical principles as it pertains to words of affirmation. First of all we have the word encourage which literally means to give a person courage. Our words of affirmation will give our spouses courage to face all their challenges of life head on with the boldness we need in this world that wants to beat us down; Boldness to say no to temptations, to accept rejection and failure, to witness for Christ, to handle illness, and even not to let jerks get under your skin. Secondly, we need it daily. They say it takes 100 positive words to overcome one negative so saying nice things on Birthdays, Anniversaries, Christmas, and Mother's Day isn't going to cut it. So do it every day that is called "today". Third, we see the word hardened and it makes me think of people going to marital counseling and one partner wants to go and the other one sits there hardened. They have already made up their minds that they are done - they may already have plan B in process. Daily words of affirmation can keep that from happening because lastly sin's deceitfulness tells us, "there is someone out there who will appreciate you more than your spouse."In fact the "in-love" experience through which affairs start are blind to flaws. They only see positives and thus daily words of affirmation are essentials for affair-proofing your marriage especially if this is the language your spouse speaks.

       Assignment for this week;
          1. Share  with your spouse one instance in your life where someone has said an affirming word to you and it impacted your future
          2. Say one positive thing to your spouse every day and/or text affirmation
          3. Compliment all your co-workers
          4. Say something positive to your child(ren) every night before you go to bed

      

The 5 Love Languages - Intro Lesson 1

      5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman is written by a marital counselor who after doing counseling for years noticed that most marital problems stem from conflicts in meeting five basic needs in their spouses - words of affirmation, Quality time, giving gifts, acts of service, and touch. He says that although everyone needs all of these, one of them stands out as a primary need or language that is unique to that individual and if it is not being met, they will feel unloved. On pages 143 to 146 he gives a great example of people speaking different languages in a marriage

      https://books.google.com/books?id=K1fRBAAAQBAJ&pg=PT112&lpg=PT112&dq=we're+like+roommates++gary+chapman&source=bl&ots=8G1muu9cSQ&sig=jdeYQI7b-8gvK5KbzXbeEznr64M&hl=en&sa=X&ved=0CCUQ6AEwAWoVChMI95SikJfUxgIVji2ICh06mAOB#v=onepage&q=we're%20like%20roommates%20%20gary%20chapman&f=false

 

In this story Susan has a language of quality time and John has the language of acts of service and because of this they were assuming their spouse should have the same language as them and their marriage was in shambles. When we can learn what their love language is and start speaking their language, it fills their love tank and when they feel loved, they can give love back.

 

There are ways we can discover what our spouse's love language and our own. The first way is to take the love language test found at the end of the book or at this link  http://www.5lovelanguages.com/profile/couples/

He also gives 5 other ways to tell

1. Observe how you and your spouse most often express love to others

2. Consider what you or your spouse complain about the most often

3. Think of the requests that you make of your spouse most often or vice-versa

4. Use the process of elimination

5. Do a 5 week experiment where one week you focus exclusively on one language

 

Love shouldn't be this hard! Right?? We unfortunately get this view from romantic novels, movies, television and the "in-love" experience. What is that? Check out this video from Frozen;

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nPImqZo0D74

 

 

 This is the emotionally charged, obsessional, irrational, euphoric feeling that comes when you meet someone that you feel passionately about and vice-versa. It usually has a life span of two years and then reality sets in. Those cute nuances become irritations and then the question is do you continue to stay in the relationship or find another one that gives you the goosies. Goosies is a good description because Chapman compares the in-love experience to the mating call of the Canadian Goose - it is the experience through which most marriages starts. Now there is nothing wrong with this - in fact God created us this way. If there was something wrong with this, Song of Solomon wouldn't have been included in the Bible! (See the dated and poor quality video below).

 

 When the "in-love" experience runs its' course, then real love starts. Love has been defined by Tim Kimmel as "the commitment of my will to your needs and best interests regardless of the cost."

 

This probably sounds very sterile and unromantic but actually it does not get rid of emotion but unites emotion with reason and meets our deepest needs for love where someone sees us with all our flaws and imperfections and chooses to love us despite that. This is our deepest need which God chose to meet by sending His Son while we were yet sinners. The Bible calls this Agape love.

 

You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. ⁷ Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person someone might possibly dare to die. ⁸ But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. ¹⁰ This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. ¹¹ Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. ¹² No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.  Rom 5:6-8, 1John 4:9-12

 

If we can learn to find and meet the deep emotional needs for love and discover the mysteries of who our spouse really is, it is a new kind of love, not focused on getting our own needs met but rather fulfilling the definition of love "the commitment of my will to your needs and best interests regardless of the cost" which will ignite a passion we have never experienced before as we experience the love that God designed us for. Imagine a relationship where you each are saying or texting daily how wonderful they are. Imagine sitting with each other looking at your spouse with electronics put away and hearing how their day truly went or praying with each other. Picture your spouse stopping by the office and bringing you your favorite snack or bringing home some flowers for your wife on a regular basis. How about you get home to find your spouse has cooked your favorite meal or your car has been washed and vacuumed. Or how about your spouse holds your hand as you walk into the grocery store or can't get close enough to you on the couch as you watch on TV what they want to watch. This sounds like "in-love" to me, yet it is intentional, rational, calculated but still filled with emotions that give you a great marriage.

 

Studies Through 1 John - Lesson 12

                       Studies Through 1 John - Lesson 12

   Before we read this passage in 1John I want you to note as you read it all the verses that have to do with salvation and then we will talk about salvation. I will highlight all the ones that I see in red.

                                        1 John 4:2,7 - 5:5
This is how you can recognize the Spirit of God: Every spirit that acknowledges that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh
is from God. Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. ⁸ Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. ⁹ This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. ¹⁰ This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. ¹¹ Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. ¹² No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.
¹³ This is how we know that we live in him and he in us: He has given us of his Spirit. ¹⁴ And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. ¹⁵ If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in them and they in God. ¹⁶ And so we know and rely on the love God has for us.
God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them. ¹⁷ This is how love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment: In this world we are like Jesus. ¹⁸ There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.
¹⁹ We love because he first loved us. ²⁰ Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen. ²¹ And he has given us this command: Anyone who loves God must also love their brother and sister.5 Everyone who believes that Jesus is the Christ is born of God, and everyone who loves the father loves his child as well. ² This is how we know that we love the children of God: by loving God and carrying out his commands. ³ In fact, this is love for God: to keep his commands. And his commands are not burdensome, ⁴ for everyone born of God overcomes the world. This is the victory that has overcome the world, even our faith. ⁵ Who is it that overcomes the world? Only the one who believes that Jesus is the Son of God  

     In verse 14 we see that Jesus is the savior of the world. What is He saving us from - vs. 17 and 18 say The Day of Judgment and Punishment. And what do we deserve punishment for - sins vs. 10. Verse 10 says that Christ is the atoning sacrifice for our sins or propitiation as other versions say. Propitiation means to turn away wrath and atonement means to cover over. This is illustrated well by the Ark of the Covenant in the Old Testament.

                                                                          GOD

 

 

So what we see is God looking down from Heaven and He sees the tables of stone or the 10 commandments which we have all broken and the wrath of God is upon us. The priest would place blood on the Mercy Seat or Atonement Cover and this would cover over our sins and it would turn away God's wrath. Jesus took this to the next level by not only shedding His blood but also removing the sins from us so when God looks at us He sees only the righteousness of Christ.

This is the Gospel then; we are separated from a Holy, Just God by our sins destined for a day of wrath punishment and judgment. Christ came down from Heaven to be our Savior or rescuer and He shed his blood for our sins and took them upon Himself and made us not guilty anymore.

 

Who gets this forgiveness? Those who know(16) about it, believe(5) it, and by faith(4) rely(16) on His salvation(14) as their only hope.

 

What happens when it is received. Certainly the forgiveness of sins and the turning away of God's wrath and judgment as we previously mentioned. That is great but there is so much more! We receive the Holy Spirit(13) who comes inside of us giving us spiritual life(13), eternal life, and begins the lifelong process of transforming us(12). Not only that but we are adopted into the family of God and become children of God(2) and He becomes our Father(1) and we enter into a love relationship with Him(1).

 

   That is the gospel, that is the essence, those are the facts. The question is, how does it effect me today? Do you know Jesus' #1 command? It's not love one another or stop sinning or have faith. Those are certainly all good commands but His most frequent command is "fear not". In fact Jesus says it so often that we think it is a greeting to people like "hello". With this in mind we look at verse 18 which says "perfect love casts out fear". Let me illustrate it in this way.

 

 

We are this man in the water who can't swim - we are in the process of drowning. The Bible says that we are headed for hell because of our sins but God sent Jesus to be our savior. Jesus is the tube that is thrown to this man. What does the man have to do? Admit his condition, humble himself to say that he can't save himself and cling to the saver as his only hope. That is the picture of "salvation". There are several problems with this illustration however. First of all, it leaves him in the water so he will, even though he is rescued, still have the fear that if he lets go he will drown and John says we don't need to fear punishment or judgment. If we are saved, God sets our feet on solid ground and enables us to live without fear of judgment and hell. The second problem is that the lifesaver is the wrong material.

 

 

This is an official lifesaver. Picture the man above clinging to the inner tube and the people on deck throwing these

 

 

Can you imagine the man's fear? What if he was holding the lifesaver. No fear. Well, maybe a little pain and suffering but no fear. This is what the world gives us. Everyday we have darts being hurled at what is holding us up. This is how we can identify idols in our life. Whenever we have fear and anxiety someone is throwing a dart at our inner tube. If we are trusting wealth, when the business is failing, when our debts are increasing, when the market is crashing fear increases. Perfect love casts out fear. If you are relying on Christ, He tells us in Matt. 6:25-34 that He will take care of us and seek first His Kingdom. If we are putting our salvation in relationships, popularity, children what happens when those falter, fade, or fail - fear and anxiety. Peter says, "cast all your cares on Him for He careth for you". If we are staying afloat by what others think about us that inhibits our stand for Christ, our witnessing, serving, loving - basically our radically living for the Lord is inhibited by fear. John says that relying on Christ alone for salvation gives fear - free living. Paul says that if he cared about what others think he could not be an effective disciple of Christ. There are many other idols we could look at but suffice it to say, if you are experiencing fear and anxiety in your life or the thought of stepping out for Christ makes your heart palpate, use those fears to be a tracker to identify the inner tube that is holding you up and start living a life of perfect love with your Father who loves you so much that He sent His Son to die for you to be your Savior!