Thoughts From Ephesians 4 - Part 8

  Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.  Eph. 4:29

 

           This was our family vacation trip verse. We had all the kids memorize it and quote it before we left home. We had our four kids aged 7,10,12, and 14 memorize it because 11-hour trips in the conversion van to Florida would bring out the worst in them. My kids made me a one-point Calvinist - I was convinced of the total depravity of man. We would sit at the restaurant table, which none of them could agree on which restaurant to go to, and have them take turns going around the table and say one nice thing about their siblings and they couldn't do it. It would end up being, "His breath doesn't smell as bad as it usually does", or something like that. Anyone with kids, especially boys, probably can relate. We would have them wear rubber bands around their wrists and every time they said something that cut another person down, they would have to snap their own wrists.

         Fortunately, it was just a phase, and they don't do that anymore, but it illustrates an inherent flaw in all of us that we need to learn how do delete or at least suppress if we want to be Christ-like. Our default mode or sin nature is to tear people down verbally to build ourselves up. As I've said before, repentance is turning from worshipping ourselves to worshipping God. Part of worshipping self is making sure that the king, me, is not threatened, so we put down people that threaten our superiority. Isn't it amazing that when a small group of people get together, they start cutting down the people that aren't there. Anytime we notice ourselves doing that we need to "snap ourselves" and reverse the direction of the conversation. Say something that builds that person up and then say to someone in the group, "And I see that quality in you, too." Pretty soon everyone will be crying and hugging because saying something that builds a person up is so foreign to us.

         When I came to Memphis, after a tough closing of my 37-year practice, I was pretty beat down. The Doctor in charge of the program kept complementing me on what a good doctor I was, what a role model I was, how much everyone loved me, and how much they wanted me here. Every time I got one of those calls or texts, I would nearly or more than nearly break down in tears because I needed it so badly. Frankly, once I signed the contract, the building up words are much less (was I manipulated, ha) but I still go back to those as life-giving words. How many people will you run into today that are craving life-giving words. Take this verse to heart and build someone up today.