Thoughts From Ephesians 6 - Part 1

  Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.  Eph. 6:4

           When I think of exasperating your kids, I think of this clip of Anthony Perkins playing Jimmy Piersall in the 1957 movie Fear Strikes Out where he hits an inside the park homerun and climbs the backstop screaming at his dad played by Carl Malden, "Is that good enough, is that good enough?" Fear Strikes Out - Jimmy Piersall meltdown

       Most other versions besides the NIV translate "exasperate" as "provoke your children to wrath." The Greek word is paraorgizo - para meaning moving toward the point of and orgizo meaning anger, irritation resentment or rage.

       It makes me wonder why Paul relates this to this relationship of fathers to sons. Why not husbands and wives and vice-versa? My wife, after 46 years of knowing each other knows exactly which buttons to push to make me respond in a sinful way and I know her buttons. Fathers, do you know your children well enough to know what triggers them? Might I suggest a few. First, expecting them to excel at areas they aren't gifted in. Second, which is probably related to the first, wanting them to have the same interests as you. Third, which is probably related to the first two, wanting them to succeed in areas you did or didn't quite succeed in. These are easy areas to self-evaluate or have others help you see what you are doing.

     The area where it's hard is when you know your child is under-achieving due to personality flaws like lack of self-discipline or laziness. When you have to keep calling them out on these it's easy to provoke them to anger. Let's say a child has been playing video games for an hour and has schoolwork to do. A good way to provoke them into a sinful response is to turn off the game or say, "stop right now!" Dads, don't you know that they were in the middle of a game or achieving heights they have never reached before and you are ruining it? Rather say, "after this round" or "in 5 minutes I want you to quit". Another wrong thing to say would be, "I wish you were as good at school as you are on the Play Station."

      Another way to provoke them to anger or exasperate them is to focus on shortcomings rather than praise them for accomplishments. I remember telling my dad that I witnessed to someone, and he told me what I should have said. I was thinking, "Aren't you proud of me for witnessing?" Or mowing the lawn and telling me that I didn't get close enough to the trees rather than complimenting me for mowing and how good it looked. Maybe I'm just doing self-analysis, but I've made it a point to always overcompensate on praising - at least I think I have. Fathers, children want you to be proud of them and make sure they know that you are.

      Parenting is difficult but when your child grows up to be a well-adjusted adult who is following Jesus and raising a Godly family, there's nothing better!

        

Thoughts From Ephesians 5 - Part 4

  Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing  her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church 30 for we are members of his body. 31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” 32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.  Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 “Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise— 3 “so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.” Eph.5:21-6:3

             How do I become a man that my wife will respect and submit to? First, I cannot be a person that is self-centered. If I act like I'm superior to everyone and put my needs above everyone else's, that kind of man is demanding rather than commanding respect. Verse 22 says that I should revere Christ or live under submission to Christ. What did He do? Phil.2 says that He did not consider equality with God something to be grasped or pursued. In other words, even though He was equal to the Father, He willingly said, "not my will but yours be done." Therefore, I too, even though I'm equal to everyone by nature of our common creation by God, submit to the requests of others rather than demanding my own way. Men, do we always demand our own way when it comes to eating out, watching shows on TV, activities on weekends, vacation destinations, surplus spending, etc.? How about letting others make choices. That's not a sign of weakness but rather meekness which is a trait worthy of respect. I know so many guys who struggle financially and the first windfall they get they go out and buy the truck of their dreams. That's not love and that's not worthy of respect.

        Secondly is to be the spiritual leader in my house. Am I concerned about my wife's spiritual growth? This starts before marriage. If you have sex with your wife before marriage violating God's word, how do you expect her to follow you spiritually when she already knows you only follow God's word when it suits you? Is she the one pushing you and the family to go to church? To do devotions before bed? Do you want respect - then take charge of the family's spiritual growth.

          Lastly, have you truly "left" your parents and set up your own life with your wife. I'm not saying to abandon them or not honor, listen to, or care for them in their aging years but rather I'm saying are you still relying on them for decision making and or finances? Have you left behind the baggage of birth order and are you forging ahead as an adult breaking the chains of your family's idiosyncrasies? Don't project your undealt with anger with your birth family onto your wife and kids. Leave all that behind and start fresh with a new family knowing that you get a chance to do it right. Your wife will respect you for it.

Thoughts From Ephesians 5 - Part 3

 “Wake up, sleeper,

    rise from the dead,
    and Christ will shine on you.”

15 Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, 16 making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. 17 Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is. 18 Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit, 19 speaking to one another with psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit. Sing and make music from your heart to the Lord, 20 always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.  Eph.5:14-20

        I see 6 W's in this passage. First of all - Wake up. Salvation is waking up. The alarm clock of conviction of sin by the Holy Spirit is going off and you have a choice - respond or turn it off. If you respond and are reborn, it's possible to get lulled back to sleep in our walk with the Lord like the guys in Matthew 25 and say, "my master isn't coming back anytime soon. Don't be so intense!" Paul says, no. We will only be here for a hiccup of time compared to eternity and we can't waste a second. Living day by day knowing that you are only a short timer here and the minutes are ticking away until we leave for our real home is living wisely.

        Second, although it's not mentioned as such is witnessing. We are to make the most of every opportunity. You don't know if you will ever get another opportunity to introduce that person to Christ so don't say, "I'll do it tomorrow." I used to in my practice write a small "w" on progress notes if I witnessed to people that day. That would keep me from repeating the same thing next time I saw them because it's hard to remember what you say from visit to visit. It would also make sure that at some point during their pregnancy I spoke about Jesus and salvation. Several times, years later I would see a picture in the obituary and race back to my records and see if there was a "w" there. What a relief to see it.

         Third we see drunkenness and wine. I'm always amazed when I go on a vacation like a cruise or all-inclusive how so many people go just to be drunk the whole time. I guess they can't do it at home because they have responsibilities? Is that really fun, to be in a stupor, to let the alcohol numb your inhibitions so you can have an excuse for sensuality. Paul says, rather, since you are on the clock, let the Holy Spirit control you in such a way that you become a fool for Jesus.

        Last, we see worshipping. Everywhere we go we should have a song in our hearts or on our Bluetooth in the car or ear buds. (although wearing ear buds may hurt your chance of witnessing) We should be in constant communication with God aware of His presence everywhere we go. If you are doing that, you probably won't miss those opportunities to witness, and you will be bubbling over with "craziness" for God. And it should be a thankful heart not a whining one. Since I was praising myself with the "w's", I must tell on myself that I used to draw wine glasses on charts of whiners to prepare myself before I went into a room. They would drain me. (I did draw a few drains too). And you thought doctors were recording your problems while writing in the chart! How can we be anything but thankful people knowing that we have eternal life in Heaven and are adopted into the king's family?

Thoughts From Ephesians 5 - Part 2

  For of this you can be sure: No immoral, impure or greedy person—such a person is an idolater—has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God. 6 Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of such things God’s wrath comes on those who are disobedient. 7 Therefore do not be partners with them.8 For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light 9 (for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth) 10 and find out what pleases the Lord. 11 Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them. 12 It is shameful even to mention what the disobedient do in secret. 13 But everything exposed by the light becomes visible—and everything that is illuminated becomes a light. Eph. 5:5-13

       One of the verses we have our grandchildren memorize is 1Cor.15:33 which tells them that bad company corrupts good character. In other words when you hang out with sinful people, they rub off on you more than you rub off on them. Does this have to always be the case? It wasn't for Jesus. His whole life on Earth he hung out with sinners, and it didn't contaminate Him but rather, He affected them as declared by this song Company You Keep by The Waiting

Another day to be dumb, confusion mingled with bliss
A bit of revelation that I don't want to miss
I heard bad company kills and absolutely it's true
But then that doesn't explain all that I know about You
That You call me Your own
Never leave me alone I think I should warn You
You're getting in deep
With the company You keep

So while my dinner gets done I'm reading Your history
You've got a reputation and all the people You see
Are a dangerous crowd they're an unsavory sort
Though I can't say it too loud I heard an evil report
The fool and the friendless
The liar and thief
The presence of greatness
In the company of the least

      As I share the gospel, I emphasize that we are separated from a Holy God by sin - sinful man can't enter into the presence of a Holy God any more than germs can enter into a sterile operating room. In that illustration, one germ could kill the patient and that's where the symbolism falls apart because our sinfulness doesn't contaminate Heaven. No, Heaven and God's presence is so pure that it would consume us. We see illustrations of that where Moses asks to see God and God says that no one can see Him and live, so he hides Moses in a cleft of a rock and Moses glimpses His backside and glows for weeks afterward. Men touched or looked into the Ark of the Covenant and died ala Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark. Aaron's sons entered the tabernacle unworthily and were consumed by fire. Paul saw the glory of the Lord and suffered permanent eye damage. Isaiah saw the presence of God and pronounced judgement on himself and had his sinful tongue cauterized. Peter, when faced with the holiness of Christ cried out, "depart from me, I am a sinful man." When the Israelites saw the glory of the Lord on the mountain, they begged Moses to speak for God to them, not God speak directly to them or they would die.

        It doesn't appear at all that bad company corrupted God, but God disintegrates sinfulness. Is it possible that we could become so much like God that we could exist in bad company without it rubbing off on us but rather we rub off on them? I think that is God's goal for us in sanctification that we could do this. This is our hope and also fear as we place our kids in public school. One of our granddaughters went to 2 or 3 Christian camps last summer and in one of them she was the only one that went to a public school, and the kids were all amazed if not appalled.

     In this passage in Ephesians, Paul warns us not to partner or participate but rather expose. He also doesn't say we used to be in the darkness but rather we were darkness. He doesn't say now we are in the light but rather we are light. If you are walking in the "Sonshine" and head into a cellar, things become dark. However if you are the light, you can go anywhere and illuminate and expose all darkness. This is the goal of our sanctification, to be so full of the Holy Spirit that anywhere we go we transform our surroundings. Let's be Children of light!

Thoughts From Psalm 99

 

Psalm 99

1 The Lord reigns,
    let the nations tremble;
he sits enthroned between the cherubim,
    let the earth shake.
2 Great is the Lord in Zion;
    he is exalted over all the nations.
3 Let them praise your great and awesome name—
    he is holy.

4 The King is mighty, he loves justice—
    you have established equity;
in Jacob you have done
    what is just and right.
5 Exalt the Lord our God
    and worship at his footstool;
    he is holy.

6 Moses and Aaron were among his priests,
    Samuel was among those who called on his name;
they called on the Lord
    and he answered them.
7 He spoke to them from the pillar of cloud;
    they kept his statutes and the decrees he gave them.

8 Lord our God,
    you answered them;
you were to Israel a forgiving God,
    though you punished their misdeeds.

9 Exalt the Lord our God
    and worship at his holy mountain,
    for the Lord our God is holy.

Psalm 99 has a phrase repeated twice - “He is holy “, and ends with “The Lord our God is holy “. The holiness of God seems to be the theme here. What is holiness and what can we learn here.

       I’ve always heard that “holy “ means “other “. God is other than us. I’ve used the illustration about 2 stick figures on a chalkboard and someone from outside the board introduces a coke can with the bottom applied to the chalkboard. What do they see? They see a circle because they are living in a 2D world. They have no idea that 12oz. of delicious, preferably Diet Coke, is sitting above them because they can’t imagine a 3D world. “Above” to them is higher on the chalkboard not out from them. They ask, ”What does ‘out’ mean?” In the same way God invaded our planet and what did we see? Jesus. He made himself visible in the form of Jesus but what if we like the chalkboard people can’t even imagine a 4D, the wholeness or otherness of God. He is holy.

       So what do we do with this fact? The first few verses give us a clue - we should tremble. The stick figures have to think if there is someone out there introducing coke cans into our existence, they probably made us and can erase us and we are not in control but at the mercy of the 3D person. Likewise, we should come to the conclusion that this holy/other being out there probably created us and can do with us whatever He pleases. This should make us tremble - we are not in control. The notion or attitude of “the big guy upstairs “,” my homeboy “, or “what if God was one of us” should fly straight out the window. Rather, a reverent fear and trepidation should be the way we approach Him.

     In Mark 4, the disciples were caught in the middle of the Sea of Galilee in a storm and were afraid of dying. They woke up Jesus and Jesus made the wind and waves cease immediately. It's interesting the disciples' response; it went from being afraid to terrified. They were in the presence of "other" and they had quaking. It's said that the Old Testament scribes, on penning the name Yahweh, would bathe or at least change pens and would never utter the name but substitute Adonai or something similar. Today we use it in worship songs because it rhymes or fits into the beat. What has happened to our reverence?

      I think part of it, and probably rightly so, is that because Christ is our mediator, we can go boldly into His presence, and He has become our adopted Father whom we call "abba". Yet I think we have gone too far to the casual and drifted away from the fear or reverence. In the Lord's prayer we are instructed to start out, "Our Father, who is in Heaven, Holy is your name." Even though he is our Father, we still are to bow down to Him in reverent fear of His Holiness and be in awe of Him.

      The Psalm ends with "The Lord our God is Holy." Note the "our". Even though He is so much greater than we can possibly imagine and we should technically fear for our next breath lest He graciously allows it, this Holy/other Being is also other in love. He has unfathomable love that causes Him to love a puny 3D, finite being like us that is so infinitesimal to Him and yet adopts us as His child. If that doesn't cause you to sing "Holy, Holy, Holy", I don't know what will.

Thoughts From Ephesians 5 - Part 1

 But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people. 4 Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving. 5 For of this you can be sure: No immoral, impure or greedy person—such a person is an idolater—has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God.   Eph. 5:3-5

        I've been watching a medieval show on TV which I don't want to mention the name because Christians probably shouldn't watch it, but it has great truths to glean from it. Recently, the queen doesn't want to be forced into an arranged marriage and doesn't want her son to marry a certain woman so in the fashion of the "Dark ages" when the crown and church were the joint powers to be reckoned with, she empowers the "church" to meet out judgement on sinners and her prospective husband and daughter-in-law are imprisoned for their sins. The problem is that the church then imprisons her because the queen is the worst of sinners. 

       The point is, if we were to be judged for our sins, we would all be found guilty. I've never done a Catholic confessional, but I've seen the dramatized versions. They always start out, "Father forgive me for I have sinned. I've had impure thoughts." That's an easy one to confess because we all do. That's sort of like when you call on someone to pray, they always start out, "Dear God, thank you for this day." It's like getting warmed up. Yet Paul says that sexual immorality and impurity which in the sermon on the mount both violate the 7th commandment, is not to be found among God's people. Fortunately, we don't have to be imprisoned for our sins, Jesus took the punishment and "there is therefore now no condemnation", however, shouldn't we be living differently now? The answer is yes. People have described our new state as not being sinless but sinning less. Our lusts, conversations, desires for more and more wealth should continually be tamed. Just like we said with anger, we shouldn't be known as angry people. Likewise, we should never be described as impure, immoral, crude, greedy people, but rather God-fearing and thankful people.

         Two guys at work are best friends so much so that they joke about being in love. The Olympics were on and I sent them this picture about their relationship

   They laughed and thought it was funny and shows them that even though I'm a Christian, I can relate and have a good time with them. However, this is what Paul is warning against. This is impurity and sexual immorality and coarse joking. I'm laughing at something God hates. I don't want to be known for this. Hey, I'm not sinless but I want to sin less. Lord help me. What about you?

Thoughts From Ephesians 4 - Part 9

 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Follow God’s example, therefore, as dearly loved children 2 and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.  Eph.4:30-5:2

               In this passage I see three ways to become more Christ-like or three ways to stop sinning and live a life that God would be proud of. First is to allow the Holy Spirit, who we've been given at salvation and is with us until we pass through the gates of Heaven, to transform us. The Sheep and Goats parable in Matthew is so often misunderstood especially by Catholics who claim salvation is faith plus works. When we stand before the Lord someday and He appears to judge whether we pass through the pearly gates or go to Hell, it appears from the parable that He judges what we do. My contention is that He already has separated us into two categories - sheep (saved) and goats (damned). You don't have to be head butted by a goat to know it's a goat. It's clearly a goat before it does anything. We were goats until the Holy Spirit came inside and now, we are a new creation - sheep, and sheep act like sheep. We are born again of the Holy Spirit, transformed from goats to sheep. My friend, Alex, who lived in the country said that every day as he would drive by a goat herd, he would lay on his horn. He said all the young goats would instantly fall over on their sides and play dead. The older ones didn't because they had matured out of that. I know I'm mixing metaphors with sheep and goats, but you catch my drift. We will change our behavior automatically as we mature in Christ.

          That is intrinsic growth, but what can we practically do to change? Secondly Paul says don't grieve the Holy Spirit by our actions. Growing up, I would occasionally do things that would be reported to my parents. Once I got a job to distribute flyers to doors advertising a sale at the local department store. I was given 500 and I would get 2 cents for everyone I passed out. That was an easy $10, so I thought. Have you ever trick- or- treated? 100 houses is quite a feat, and I soon realized that 500 houses would be a major undertaking. Being the sinful lad I was, I started leaving 3 or 4 flyers at each house. Someone called and reported it to the department store (who does that? God always kept me on a short leash) and called my dad who was grieved by my behavior. The last thing I wanted to do was grieve my dad. I wanted him to be proud of me. I'd like to say I was honest from then on, but this helped me to increase in honesty. We should want our Heavenly Father to be proud of us and not grieve Him with our sins.

        Lastly, just as in the parable of the unforgiving debtor, if we truly realize God's grace and mercy to us, if we really understand His forgiveness, if we grasp His love for us, to not show grace and mercy to others, to hold contempt, anger, rage against someone without offering forgiveness, to withhold love from the undeserving, shows that we just don't get it. As we understand the gospel, to not act like Christ is shameful. There is a Curb Your Enthusiasm episode where Larry holds open the door to the doctor's office out of courtesy to the person behind him, and then the ensuing fight with the person who signs in before him, so Larry has to wait. The comedy is that we deep down know that if we are shown courtesy, it is only right to return that courtesy. Likewise, after all that Christ has done for us, it is only right to return that goodness.

         Let's continue to become more like Jesus. Two steps forward, one step backward day by day, week by week, month by month, year by year.